1. Give her a foot
massage every day
...since she is
divinely chosen to lead.
3. Formalize the
autocratic monarchy with yo girl as the queen regnant in a violent coup wherein
you consolidate your military and political power with her as the central
figure
4. Get the local feudal
lords to swear fealty to her
Who wouldn't wanna
swear fealty to DAT ASS, right fellas?
5. Give more than you
receive in bed ;)
6. Offer her your seed so
that she may bear children to continue her royal lineage. If your seed is not
viable, find her a discrete consort who can provide her offspring, lest the monarchy
fall to outside influences when the queen's fertility comes into question.
Have the consort
quietly executed upon confirmation that the queen is with child. No one can
know the sordid truth...
7. Give her chocolates
and love letters on non-special occasions - make sure EVERY day is Valentine's
Day for yo girl.
Also she has grown
cold and distant as the power of her position became normalized in her mind.
She is cruel to her subjects and even crueler to those closest to her. Lavish
praise on her - do not give her even an inkling of a reason to be displeased
with you, lest your head be separated from your body as punishment for a
perceived slight.
8. Flush out traitorous
advisors and noblemen in her court, try them for crimes against the crown, and
see to their executions.
Better them than you.
