5 Reasons Why Living Together Can
Actually Decrease Your Chance of Future Divorce
1. Living together is
the ultimate test.
Can your relationship survive the less glamorous aspects of
cohabitating? Will you have repeated arguments about dishes and dirty laundry?
Living together is not full of the stuff you see in romantic comedies
(it can often seem like The Break Up), and university studies show that
believing movies' portrayal of ideal relationships can increase your chance for
dissatisfaction in your relationships. Sorry, Bella fans, Edward Cullen is not
real. Your love will really be tested.
If you can love each other even after realizing that it's not
always going to fun, chances are, you will be in better shape for your
marriage.
2. Couples who live together learn
about each other and start to form an identity working as a team.
They can learn (or not) how to balance their relationship, careers
and even finances together. Through time, the other person's priorities and
values will become clear, and couples can see if these really align before
putting marriage on the table.
3. When you get into a fight with a significant other who you live with, you can't just walk away and play the "who-calls-first-to-apologize" game.
You go home to the same bed, and getting a hotel room or
crashing at a friend's house after every fight just isn't possible 100% of the
time. This is where the communication and people skills you learned in college
and/or while growing up can really make a difference.
Will you talk it out, or will you just go to bed angry? If
you two just can't get along, it's better to learn this now.
Will you find your man attractive even after he leaves the
bathroom door open when he's, um, doing his business? I hate to be the breaker
of bad news, but yes, a lot of the mystery is lost if you don't do anything
about it. The lingerie that you ripped off last night in a passionate frenzy
will be waiting on the floor the next morning, waiting to be sorted into the
delicate laundry pile.
There's a reason so many articles point to
the importance of not getting "too comfortable." Don't always wear
sweats together, get off the couch every once in awhile, go on dates. If you're
both willing to consciously keep the flame alive, you're on good footing for a
great marriage.
5. As one writer from The Frisky mentioned, furniture
shopping can be the beginning of a relationship's demise.
Sharing furniture can be problematic, when
personal belongings become "ours" and not "mine." A
blended, compromised style will be confusing, please no one and can foster
resentment for years.
Co-habitating can shine light on the couples' differences,
and help them decide if it's worth reconciling their differences before they
get married.
What do you think?
Should a couple live together before getting married?
