Let's put an end to text message
breakups.
1. Don't stall.
You don't
need permission or a 'good enough' reason to break up with someone.
Plan to talk
to the best self that you know is in there, even if their worst self is all you
can see at the moment. People tend to step up or step down to the level on
which we engage them.
3. Do it privately, and in
person if possible.
Do it in private, at a time when you won't be interrupted.
If you do it in public, you're not just hurting them, you're humiliating
them.
4. Actually use the words
"break up."
Say, "I think we
should break up" or "I'm breaking up with you" at the beginning
of the conversation.
5. Don't blame them.
Don't talk about what you think the other person did wrong in the
relationship or negatively evaluate their personality. This wrongly puts the
responsibility for your decision to break up onto the other person.
6. Listen without making
suggestions.
Give the person the respect of focusing on their point of
view, and then you can move on.
7. Accept that they may say
hurtful things to you.
People in
breakups often react badly, expressing their anger and sorrow in an
attack-style form of communication, be prepared for
this and focus your attention on what the other person is really trying to say,
even if they are saying it very badly. Let them know that you heard them, even
when you disagree.
The one exception? If he or she becomes violent. Then, "get the hell out."
8. Be honest if you're leaving
them for someone else.
I think it's
worth mentioning it because when they do see you with someone else, the shock
is that much worse.
9. Be short, swift, and direct.
Avoid a
preamble, rip off the Band-Aid.
10. Don't detail the breakup on
social media.
Venting
should be done privately to your friends in person. Facebook status change is important, but to avoid all that, you should never keep post of your relationship status in medias as they may end up with hurt and public announcements will say it all.
Thank You!
